Being
thankful
and
giving
thanks
are
not
the
same
thing.
"Being
thankful"
is a
state
of
being.
It's
good
to
feel
grateful.
But
being
happy
about
one's
fortunes
is one
thing,
giving
thanks
is
another.
Thanksgiving
should
be
about
giving
thanks.
Sadly,
it has
evolved
into
thanks-gorging.
Families
get
together
to
indulge
and
imbibe,
yet in
the
midst
of all
the
joviality,
family
members
are
too
often
strung-out
and
frayed.
This
was
certainly
the
case
in my
family.
As a
child,
I
could
never
put
the
holiday
and
the
purpose
of
thanksgiving
together.
Aunt
Dorie
would
come
drunk
and
weep
at the
table.
No one
ever
knew
why,
and no
one
asked.
Grandpa
refused
to
speak
to
Grandma.
My
older
brother
showed
his
face
only
at the
meal.
Otherwise,
he was
conspicuously
absent.
In
trying
to
make
everything
perfect,
Mom
would
always
have a
migraine,
and
Dad
would
be
steaming
because
Mom
didn't
feel
well.
All
the
while,
the
Detroit
Lions
stormed
our
living
room,
making
it
impossible
for
anyone
to do
anything
except
sneak
as
many
hors
d'oeuvres
as
possible.
Oddly
enough,
Thanksgiving
was
the
one
time
Dad
said
his
"own"
grace
before
dinner.
Throughout
the
rest
of the
year
it was
the
standard,
"Our
father,
we
thank
thee."
At
Thanksgiving,
he
quietly,
almost
tearfully,
thanked
God
for
the
many
blessings
that
had
been
bestowed
upon
us.
I
always
waited
anxiously
for
something
more,
something
of
love
to
break
in
after
the
prayer.
Some
hidden
secret
in
Dad's
heart
was
trying
to
reveal
itself
to us.
But
with
the
"Amen,"
the
silence
was
broken
and
the
business
of
carving
and
passing
dishes
swung
into
full
swing.
The
moment
of
grace
had
slipped
away.
Our
Thanksgiving
feast
never
lasted
long.
And
despite
the
lavishness
of
everything,
I
always
felt a
gnawing
emptiness.
How
could
everything
be so
good
and
right
on the
outside
when I
felt
so
isolated
and
estranged
on the
inside?
Why
were
we so
afraid
of
showing
love
to one
another?
I
wonder
whether
all
the
feasting
at
Thanksgiving
is
more
an
escape,
a kind
of
therapy
or
narcotic,
than a
meal
of
celebration.
I
wonder
because
I see
so
little
thanksgiving
going
on.
When
was
the
last
time
you or
I sat
down
with
someone
and
really
thanked
them-for
who
they
are,
for
all
the
deeds
of
kindness
they
have
shown
to you
and to
others,
for
being
there?
When
did
you
last
look
into
the
eyes
of
your
son or
daughter,
mother
or
father,
wife
or
husband
and
express
gratitude
for
his or
her
life?
What
about
your
employer
or
employee,
or
even
your
neighbor?
Expressing
a
heartfelt
thank
you
isn't
as
easy
as it
seems.
As a
parent,
I know
that
getting
a
child
to say
a
simple
thank
you-and
meaning
it-doesn't
always
come
naturally.
But
when
children
are
truly
thankful,
they
not
only
say
it,
they
show
it.
A few
years
ago I
had a
chance
to
spend
time
with
my
dad.
Though
I had
written
him
letters
and
spoken
with
him on
the
phone
from
time
to
time,
I
hadn't
been
with
him
for
ten
years.
Dad
can
barely
walk
now,
and he
struggles
to
remember
things.
And
though
I had
expressed
my
love
to him
in the
past,
before
we
said
goodbye
I just
had to
say it
one
more
time:
"Thank
you,
Dad,
for
being
my
dad."
When
we
give
God
the
Father
thanks
I
wonder
if we
really
know
what
we are
doing.
Is it
enough
to
just
say
thank
you or
say a
prayer
before
a
meal?
And
when
we
give
thanks,
are we
thanking
Him or
are we
just
glad
to be
alive
and
well
and to
have
an
excuse
to
have a
good
time?
The
Apostle
Paul
writes:
"Give
thanks
in all
circumstances,
for
this
is
God's
will
for
you."
Giving
thanks,
in the
most
profound
sense,
involves
far
more
than
counting
one's
blessings.
This
is
little
more
than
selfishness
with a
smile.
Giving
thanks
is
about
acknowledging
with
joy
God's
will-despite
circumstances.
But
more
than
this,
offering
thanks
is a
matter
of
showing
it,
both
to God
and to
those
with
whom
we are
connected.
"No
one
has
seen
God;
but if
we
love
each
other,
God
lives
in us
and
his
love
is
made
complete
in
us,"
writes
the
Apostle
John.
If we
fail
to
show
one
another
our
thanks,
what
good
is a
meal
of
thanksgiving?
A
truly
thankful
heart
knows
that
things
pale
in
comparison
to
people.
We are
created
for
relationship,
not
riches.
Sharing
a
table
full
of
food
is
wonderful,
but it
is
whom
we
share
it
with
that
counts.
This
year's
Thanksgiving
could
be
different,
but
only
if our
focus
is on
our
fellowship,
not
the
feast;
on
giving
thanks,
not on
getting
full.
We
must
get
beyond
the
tradition
of the
meal
and
meet
each
other
heart-to-heart.
Though
many
of us
won't
be
able
to
spend
Thanksgiving
dinner
with
our
families,
or
with
our
best
friends,
all of
us can
still
give
thanks.
We can
each
give
ourselves.
The
question
is...will
we?
Charles
Moore
Reprinted
from
http://www.bruderhof.com/
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/16275.htm
used
with
permission