When Marriage Really Changed

When Marriage Really Changed


There is a lot of talk about “If homosexuals are allowed to marry, it’ll change the institution of marriage forever.”  I don’t disagree, however… I’d challenge us consider the fact that marriage is already changed from the institution God created.  I don’t say that tongue in cheek as if we should just keep changing it then, I say that to put a few things back into perspective for some of us “angry Christians” and just the general public as well.

The institution of marriage was changed dramatically three times already.

1.) No Fault Divorce.
We don’t even have to have a reason anymore to leave.  Which is when the phrases “We just grew apart” and “I just don’t love you anymore” started being good enough reasons to change the institution of marriage.  It’s no longer one man and one woman …. it’s as many one man /woman marriages to as many one man/woman as they so choose.

2.) Birth Control.
How does how many children we want to bring into the world have anything to do with marriage?  Because once birth control was invented, infidelity SKY ROCKETED! It was no longer “risky” to have an affair for fear that the woman would get pregnant. 15% of married men reportedly admit to having sex outside of marriage.  That’s just men brave enough to admit it – and a controlled poll.  Let alone, women who aren’t in that poll.  And that 15% is startling enough isn’t it?

3.) The Internet.
I’m not blaming the Internet.  After all, without it, you wouldn’t be reading this blog. So I’m obviously not sold that the Internet is the Devil.  However, the Internet has made it possible for us to have instant and private access to pornography, secret relationships, and an explosion of exposure to things that we did not have in our homes 30 years ago.  After all, I can have an affair with my husband sitting in the same room as me, if he’s watching TV and I’m playing on the computer right?

Why does this matter?  Because we haven’t maintained the standard of the institution of marriage, long before any gay couples were even out of the closet – yet now we’re up in arms and blaming them?

It leads me to ask a few questions.

* If we didn’t tolerate and participate in sex before marriage - would men and women participate in cohabitation before marriage or even in replace of marriage today?

* If we didn’t divorce, would people go into marriage signing a prenuptial?

* If we weren’t able to access pornography at the touch of our fingers or have private email addresses – would nearly as many people be having affairs today?

* If we couldn’t jump online and find a slew of other “Christians” who are divorced, in favor of gay marriage, and participating in cohabitation, would we be questioning what Scripture says now and asking if “those rules” were for “that culture” and it’s time for change?

I guess what I’m really saying is that, I’m not for children out-of-wedlock, cohabitation, divorce, swinging marriages, or gay marriage.  In my opinion, IT ALL changes the institution of marriage from God’s original standard and covenant.  Do I hate anyone who participates in any of the above?  Of course not.  Is there grace and mercy for everyone?  Absolutely.  Would I treat every single person participating in the above as a neighbor I am called to love and cherish.  Yes.

But I won’t stand back and say that gay couples have destroyed the institution of marriage any less than straight couples.  I’m not against just gay marriage.  I’m against ANY and ALL alterations to the purpose and intent of marriage given to us by a Holy God who created us and died to redeem us.

Personal Application:
-- What has changed marriage?
-- What have I supported that has changed marriage?
-- What have I participated in that has changed marriage?
-- How can I better set a standard for ALL, not some?

Kayla Gulick
Lessons Of Mercy