Grief...Developing Our Wings

Our loved ones are so precious to us and when they are allowed to travel home ahead of us to heaven, we feel the space they left empty.  And we feel empty!  We yearn to see those loved ones, to laugh with them, to hear a voice, touch a hand, hug!  Our memories flow and scenes long past are suddenly with us again and these tug at our heart strings and cause warm tears to caress our cheeks.  Many of us hold back from saying the actual word, "goodbye," for we know we will walk with ONE ANOTHER again! Perhaps we could just say adieu, until we meet again!

Grief is weird.  I have likened the pain of it to labor pains in reverse.  I liken the passage of time throughout the grieving to stages the caterpillar experiences.  In one way grieving does not end, it changes, but how can it truly end when one never stops loving?  Following the death of our loved one, whether the cherished son, the sweet daughter, mother, father, grandparent, brother....every day becomes one more day of healing for us as we adjust to a time and space without this special person at our side and in our lives!

Personally I could not have been separated from my only son, my younger brother, my father, my nephews, my sister-in-law or my good friend without God's help.  God's love shines in us and through us for He knows more than anyone exactly what we are experiencing and none can comfort and bring peace like He does.

The changes which take place during our grieving are like a metamorphosis.  A caterpillar has always appeared to me to be slow.  Personally I see the pain of separation from my son as the awkward slower movements of the caterpillar. Everything was big and seemed unreal and in slow motion when my son was killed.  It was a challenge and a trauma to find my way through this maze I found myself in.  My memory seemed to stand still.  And the memories I held seemed illusive.  I honestly seemed locked out of almost any memory of my son, though he had been in my life for 17 years.  Things appeared unreal with obstacles everywhere!  When a death occurs just living seems to be sluggish!  In the cocoon the caterpillar changes.  Does the caterpillar receive lessons in flying and living a new existence as it sleeps and changes inside?

We seem to change in many ways as we travel through the stages of grief.  Perhaps even as we sleep, God, is utilizing this time, helping us to cope, and perhaps He is even filling us with His healing Light and teaching us to recall exactly what we need to remember of His promises regarding the eternities.  Gradually over a period of time we begin to find a new balance, we even discover that though joy is not yet within us, laughter does come and it buoys us up.  We respond to the care and love of family.  We heal with the help of our Heavenly Father.  In some instances we learn more than we ever thought possible and as the darker cloud of grief moves away we find we have some new-found understanding for helping others along on the pathway we have just navigated.  Ah, is this our wings stage?

Just like the butterfly are we finally released from the cocoon of grief!  Like the butterflies we can once more appreciate the warmth of the sun.  We are able to again enjoy the feel of the breeze.  We finally have reached that stage where handling the death has become more manageable.  We will always miss those who make the transition to heaven ahead of us, for each is a part of us, a part of our life, a part of our memories and for some a part of our being.  I don't know when we become the butterflies but the metamorphosis does take place and then God will gradually help us to be the comforters!

Yes, we will continue to miss our children, our siblings, our parents, or grandparents, whomever has made the transition to heaven, yet we will see everything from a new perspective as the years roll by.  And some day it will be as though God Himself is giving us exactly the right words to share with a grieving soul!  And when we seem void of words, well then we shall let our tears mingle with the tears of all those who are grieving and together we shall see in our mind's eyes another day, a happier day and the memories will lift us when the words are unable!

Our loved ones WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN and will ALWAYS be LOVED!  And the day will come when we will once again walk side by side!

Ellie Braun-Haley
by way of
Christian Voices

Ellie Braun-Haley is the mother of Jason, who left this earth in 1989 and she is also mother to two beautiful women, Debbie and Laurie!





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